Moment to Moment to Moment

We can’t fight who we are because it’s who we’ve always been.  Self-awareness is the way to make changes. Changes blossom from self-awareness. The way to gain self-awareness is by remaining present in the moment—try and try and try to be present in the moment. It’s all we get. The moment.  Now that moment's gone.  Here’s the next. And the next and the next and the next.

 

Should we look back? Ahead?

Yes, as a means to keep us present. Touch the past, don't dwell.  Touch the future, don't dwell. Don't get hooked on thoughts. Touch the thoughts as they pass thru the mind--because that's where they live—it’s the only place they live. Come back to the present.

We can learn more about ourselves if we’re present vs lost in thought—often lost in our past:  how depressing.  Shoulda, coulda, woulda.  Blame, blame, blame. Obsessive thoughts?

Can you repeat that please?

Obsessive thoughts? 

What about obsessive thoughts?

They lead to compulsive behaviors. Obsessive thoughts lead to repetitive, compulsive behavior patterns. We’re locked in—we can’t get out. Sometimes we feel like we’re suffocating. It’s all we know. It’s all we can remember ever doing, ever being.  In a dysfunctional way, it keeps us safe, and lets us feed into our fantasies or our self- doubts. 

We can learn more about ourselves if we’re present vs. lost in thought—often lost in our future: haha.  That’s a good one. The future.  We’re completely invested in the future, but the future doesn’t exist.  It hasn’t happened. We’re completely invested in what doesn’t exist.  Plan, plan, plan.  Prepare, prepare, prepare. Plan and prepare for what we really have no ultimate control over. We obsess.

Shouldn’t we be prepared for the future?

We should have road maps, guide posts, pathways, signs that allow us to be open to what is in this moment, and the next and the next and the next moment. Each moment contains past, present and future—all in one.  We have the present moment. It’s real time. It doesn't live in our minds.

How do we get there?

Where?

To the present moment.

Engaging our 5 senses will draw us in to the present and our breath—breathing—will keep us there.

Can we stay there?

For a moment. And if we try, we’ll go to the next and the next and the next.

The next what, the next where?

Moment.

Accept Don't Expect

More often than not, “…we don’t get what we want and we get what we don’t want…”(Pema Chodron). We have hopes and dreams and plans that don’t go as we antcipated; that which we counted on to define our lives, doesn’t happen, and something we never expected to happen defines our lives.  

Can you offer some examples?

Divorce.  Illness. Financial challenges. 

Do you feel the unexpected is always negative?

The unexpected isn’t always negative, and in fact it can be positive.  But feelings of anxiety and depression associated with not getting what we want—what we hoped and dreamed and planned for not coming into fruition—can be difficult to cope with.

Should we abandon hopes, dreams and plans?

No, we should not abandon them.  But we should embrace the notion that just because we want something doesn’t mean we get it.  Its here, in acknowledging this bit of reality, we can begin to move and flow with what we have.  Accept. Don’t expect

What do you feel happens when we accept without expectation?

We become more grounded in what is real, than what are thoughts—what we expected and didn’t get, or want but can’t have. We are more equipped to face and accept what is present to us—our real time options—as opposed to getting tripped up with not getting what we hoped and dreamed and planned; thoughts which exist in our minds may not exist in our realities. Instead of being anxious or depressed over what isn’t, we can open up to consider what is.

Blogger's Block

The hardest thing about starting a blog is starting a blog. I don’t know where to start, so I’ll start by doing what I know first and foremost about writing and life: “Start where you are.”(Pema Chodron)

What stands in your way and creates this blogger’s block?

Fear.

Fear of what? 

Fear of failure.  Fear of having nothing meaningful to convey, having no readers or followers, and ultimately fear of wasting time writing a meaningless blog.

Meaningless?

Meaningless.

What holds meaning for you? What would you like to blog about?

 Life.

What about life? What do you want to convey most about life?

Life is stressful.  People are anxious and depressed about their stressful lives, and they get anxious about their depression and depressed about their anxiety.  There’s almost nothing in life we can control except our inner being and how we guide our inner being to greet our outer situation.