Accept Don't Expect

More often than not, “…we don’t get what we want and we get what we don’t want…”(Pema Chodron). We have hopes and dreams and plans that don’t go as we antcipated; that which we counted on to define our lives, doesn’t happen, and something we never expected to happen defines our lives.  

Can you offer some examples?

Divorce.  Illness. Financial challenges. 

Do you feel the unexpected is always negative?

The unexpected isn’t always negative, and in fact it can be positive.  But feelings of anxiety and depression associated with not getting what we want—what we hoped and dreamed and planned for not coming into fruition—can be difficult to cope with.

Should we abandon hopes, dreams and plans?

No, we should not abandon them.  But we should embrace the notion that just because we want something doesn’t mean we get it.  Its here, in acknowledging this bit of reality, we can begin to move and flow with what we have.  Accept. Don’t expect

What do you feel happens when we accept without expectation?

We become more grounded in what is real, than what are thoughts—what we expected and didn’t get, or want but can’t have. We are more equipped to face and accept what is present to us—our real time options—as opposed to getting tripped up with not getting what we hoped and dreamed and planned; thoughts which exist in our minds may not exist in our realities. Instead of being anxious or depressed over what isn’t, we can open up to consider what is.